As always, you can read it online at:
http://cebfl.blogspot.com/
But for those that are too lazy to even click:
Unfortunately, this week's summary was delayed by the grief of falling victim to Mike D. as my team simply gave up. The depression is so deep that I don't even know if watching my staff perform their day to day tasks such as making my bed, washing my car, and cleaning my home will even entertain me in the least. Sigh. Life is tough. For a glimpse into my emotional state, please watch the following, not safe for work, clip that portrays it perfectly:
And now, onto this week's summary:
Week 14 finalized it all. It separated the lucky from the cursed and the cursed from the inept. Just 2 teams made it into triple digits and only 2 close ones this week. The average score fell to 90.4 points from last week's 94.1 pts. The average margin of victory narrowed to 18.2 points.
Performer of The Week:
Lance Richter, 122.5 pts. His second week in a row with 120+ pts. Not that it matters. Not that anything matters anymore...
Honourable mention to Tim Ashby and his 117.5 points.
Senorita Of The Week:
Jay Hauser, 64.8 points. Way to let Harris salvage his season. Hauser, you are dead to me.
The "Close-But-No-Cigar" Match (es) of The Week:
2 close ones this week as my spiral into the depths of fantasy football continued by falling to Mike D by 7.4 points because my team couldn't find their cleats let alone tie them up and play football. Let me tell you, there's nothing like a 4 game losing streak to end the regular season. It's quite special. Almost as special as listening to Mike D. relive an episode of the Cosby Show.
As alluded to in an earlier and angry email, Gregor started a kicker that did not even travel with his team. It was well publicized days before the game, yet he still chose UFC over football. This abortion of team management allowed the mighty Jeff Alls and his Dallas Trainwreck to secure the victory by 1.8 points and finish at a coin toss like .500 on the year. Well played Georges St-Mis-Management.
The 9-5 Club:
Joining Madge and Eric/Pat/Sunny in the club is Lawrence Park's favourite curler, Tim Ashby who beat Madge in a playoff preview. Congratulations to you all. May you choke on the complimentary bar snacks.
The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:
The Ravens' 16 or Lance Moore's 13 could have kept the dark clouds at bay for your beloved Commissioner.
And again, and perhaps to belabour a point, but had Gregor started virtually any kicker that, you know, played last week, he could have won.
State of The League:
Here's how it finished, write your own clever commentary:
DIVISION 1
TEAM W L T PCT GB
T-Dot Triple Threat 9 5 0 .643 --
FAST BOWLERS 9 5 0 .643 --
The Blue Steel Dynasty 9 5 0 .643 --
Robert Pryce 8 6 0 .571 1
Team Tap Out 8 6 0 .571 1
Eastside Rip and Run 7 7 0 .500 2
Creepy Glen Bishop 7 7 0 .500 2
Inglorious Bastards 7 7 0 .500 2
Dallas Trainwreck 7 7 0 .500 2
Team BadNewsBrawlers 5 9 0 .357 4
Gentleman's Intermission 4 10 0 .286 5
Team Cryptkeeper 4 10 0 .286 5
The Commissioner's office will be closed until August 2011. That is, should we have a football season next year. Please send your comments, requests, and other distractions to someone that cares.
Commissionarily Yours,
Your Commissioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
New Commissioner's Plaza
100 Mbeki Tutu Mugabe Blvd.
Nairobi, Kenya
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Week 13 Summary - Highs and Lows / Outside Looking In / Fading / Surging
As always, you can read it online at:
http://cebfl.blogspot.com/
But for those that are too lazy to even click:
Unfortunately, this week's summary was delayed by the grief of being the victim of Devo's dead cat bounce and the overall bed-crappery of the NY Jets on MNF. Also causing the delay were Nairobi's occasional power outages due to rain. That's right, a little bit of rain and the lights go out. So until I rig up a giant hamster wheel for the staff to run on to power my gadgets and communications lines to the first world, these delays may happen. Onto this week's summary:
Week 13 brought much heartbreak and much joy to our Fantasy Football island. Five teams managed to make it into triple digits and we had three close ones this week. The average score stayed at 94.1 pts - the first time that's ever happened. And the average margin of victory grew slightly to 23.1 pts.
Performer of The Week:
Tim Ashby, 128.4 pts. And with a flurry of a 66.9 point beat down on the continuing to fade into oblivion James Harris.
Honourable mention to Lance with 120.6 and Eric/Pat/Sunny and their 110.1 pts. Please note my continued protest to their inclusion in this section, and for that matter, in this league.
Senorita Of The Week:
Jamie Harris, 61.5 points. Hey, at least that's 0.2 pts higher than what earned you this least coveted title last week.
The "Close-But-No-Cigar" Match (es) of The Week:
Three close ones this week as Eric/Pat/Sunny used a 42.1 pt Brady performance on Monday night to come from behind and clip Gregor by 7.9 points. Kevin managed to just squeeze by Mike D. by 5 pts and the tables turned on Hauser this week as he lost to Madge by 4.4 points.
The 9-4 Club:
Remaining in the lounge are Madge and Eric/Pat/Sunny. With just 1 week to play, it looks as though you can rest a little easier as you are both in the playoffs. I hope that case of scotch that was delivered is safe to drink....
The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:
Hauser could have used Woodhead's 11 instead of Bowe's 0, Mike D. could have used Fasano's 10, and Gregor could have used Meachem's 19. Harris was beyond help.
State of The League:
It's almost over, folks. Just 1 more week until the playoffs and here's how it stands:
Madge and the Eric/Pat/Sunny combo are in. Seeding TBD.
Since I don't really know how the tiebreaker works, I'll say Ashby is in - FOR NOW. And then there is the mess at 7-6: Gregor, Fusco, Kevin and Harris. Gregor is in the catbird seat - again, I don't know why, but he is ranked at the top of this tie. Fusco has started smoking as his chances at making a playoff spot are thin, but he does play Mike D. this week. Kevin is, as usual, late to the party, but could get in with help and Harris shouldn't get his hopes up.
As for the rest of you, let me now express my disappointment in you all. Jeff and Lance, will you guys even make it to .500? Devo, Mike D., and Hauser - based on schedule, it is possible for you to all be in double digits in the loss column.
As always, worst of luck to you all.
Commissionarily Yours,
Your Commissioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
New Commissioner's Plaza
100 Mbeki Tutu Mugabe Blvd.
Nairobi, Kenya
http://cebfl.blogspot.com/
But for those that are too lazy to even click:
Unfortunately, this week's summary was delayed by the grief of being the victim of Devo's dead cat bounce and the overall bed-crappery of the NY Jets on MNF. Also causing the delay were Nairobi's occasional power outages due to rain. That's right, a little bit of rain and the lights go out. So until I rig up a giant hamster wheel for the staff to run on to power my gadgets and communications lines to the first world, these delays may happen. Onto this week's summary:
Week 13 brought much heartbreak and much joy to our Fantasy Football island. Five teams managed to make it into triple digits and we had three close ones this week. The average score stayed at 94.1 pts - the first time that's ever happened. And the average margin of victory grew slightly to 23.1 pts.
Performer of The Week:
Tim Ashby, 128.4 pts. And with a flurry of a 66.9 point beat down on the continuing to fade into oblivion James Harris.
Honourable mention to Lance with 120.6 and Eric/Pat/Sunny and their 110.1 pts. Please note my continued protest to their inclusion in this section, and for that matter, in this league.
Senorita Of The Week:
Jamie Harris, 61.5 points. Hey, at least that's 0.2 pts higher than what earned you this least coveted title last week.
The "Close-But-No-Cigar" Match (es) of The Week:
Three close ones this week as Eric/Pat/Sunny used a 42.1 pt Brady performance on Monday night to come from behind and clip Gregor by 7.9 points. Kevin managed to just squeeze by Mike D. by 5 pts and the tables turned on Hauser this week as he lost to Madge by 4.4 points.
The 9-4 Club:
Remaining in the lounge are Madge and Eric/Pat/Sunny. With just 1 week to play, it looks as though you can rest a little easier as you are both in the playoffs. I hope that case of scotch that was delivered is safe to drink....
The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:
Hauser could have used Woodhead's 11 instead of Bowe's 0, Mike D. could have used Fasano's 10, and Gregor could have used Meachem's 19. Harris was beyond help.
State of The League:
It's almost over, folks. Just 1 more week until the playoffs and here's how it stands:
Madge and the Eric/Pat/Sunny combo are in. Seeding TBD.
Since I don't really know how the tiebreaker works, I'll say Ashby is in - FOR NOW. And then there is the mess at 7-6: Gregor, Fusco, Kevin and Harris. Gregor is in the catbird seat - again, I don't know why, but he is ranked at the top of this tie. Fusco has started smoking as his chances at making a playoff spot are thin, but he does play Mike D. this week. Kevin is, as usual, late to the party, but could get in with help and Harris shouldn't get his hopes up.
As for the rest of you, let me now express my disappointment in you all. Jeff and Lance, will you guys even make it to .500? Devo, Mike D., and Hauser - based on schedule, it is possible for you to all be in double digits in the loss column.
As always, worst of luck to you all.
Commissionarily Yours,
Your Commissioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
New Commissioner's Plaza
100 Mbeki Tutu Mugabe Blvd.
Nairobi, Kenya
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