Read it online here:
http://cebfl.blogspot.com/
or for those that are too lazy to even click:
Week 2 is in the books and while two data points may not make a trend, I see/imagine a number of salient themes emerging this year. These themes will be written down and stored in my safe and revealed at the end of the year in a live, 1 hr pay per view special to air just before the 14 hours of Super Bowl pre-game. Onto the summary:
Three teams managed to score over 100 pts this week as Hauser, Kevin, and his blood-feud enemy, Gregor all surpassed the magical mark.
Average score came in at 89.7 pts compared to last week's 85.4 pts. The average margin of victory was an even bigger than last week 29.1 pts.
Performer of The Week:
Jay Hauser, 123.2 points. I believe that is called "Giving Madge The Business".
Honourable Mention to Kevin and his 120.8 pts. However, both still fell short of the season's high water mark of 127.1 set by, me, your beloved commissioner.
Senorita Of The Week:
Mike D, 57.1 pts. And he took a beating at the hands of fellow original 905er, Kevin. A 63.7 pt loss is bad. Even worse than Kev's beating last week. Dis-honourable mention to Madge and his 61.6 pts and his 60+ pt loss to Hauser. Those are serious blow-outs.
The "Close-But-No-Cigar" Match (es) of The Week:
Just two matches decided by less than 10 points: Jeff Alls and Lance Richter were in a holy-war-death-match-squeaker-tighter-than-a-tiger battle going into the Monday night game at 87.3-87. But this morning's scoring update shows a swing as Pierre Thomas' 9 points swung the victory to Lance. In the other close one, Ashby clipped Harris by 9.8 pts.
2-0 Club:
Ah...now that feels much better. The herd has been thinned, and I only must share this rarefied air with two others. Welcome Lance and Ashby to the promised land. Don't get too comfy, though and hands off my coat check girl, Ashby. You can look, but don't you dare touch. I can already tell you she isn't wearing a "Hello Kitty" thong.
The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:
It is always nice to see the namesake take the award as Madge left Jahvid Best and his 43 points on the bench. Although this wouldn't have changed the outcome, it would have resulted in Madge getting A LOT less ink in this week's summary.
Alls and Harris could have used Hightower's 17 and McNabb's 34.8, respectively.
State of the League:
While it is only Week 2, I'm supremely confident in the following 3-tier classification system:
1) Enveloped In Excellence: Fusco. And to a lesser extent, Ashby and Lance. I mean, look at the PF/PA ratio, they are really JUST there....
2) Mired In Mediocrity: .500 sucks. And so do Hauser, Madge (ugly loss this week), Kevin, Gregor, Alls, and Mike D. (I knew a winning record would be too much for him to take).
3) Drowning In Disappointment: And then there were you three - Harris, Devo (oh how the mighty have fallen) and the 3-headed monster of Pat/Sunny/Eric.
Back in Toronto on Friday evening - still looking for more hearty souls to watch football with on either of the next 2 sundays...don't be shy, get your Fusco face-time while you can.
Commissionarily Yours,
Your Commissioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
New Commissioner's Plaza
100 Mbeki Tutu Mugabe Blvd.
Nairobi, Kenya
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