Week 6 Summary - Holy Offense! / Defensive Suckitude / Kevin Wins!:

Average jumped over 100 for the first time this week to 101.2 pts from last week's 87.9 pts, as offense was the story this week. Big weeks from 5 of six winning teams with score of over 110 pts.

Average margin of victory nearly doubled to 44.2 pts from last week's 22.6 pts as the closest match was still a blow-out by almost 20 points. This week's largest margin of victory was a shocking 92.6 points as Madge handed Jeff most of his man-bits in a battle of 4-1 teams. Kevin spanked Lance (and not in they way he likes to be spanked) by 64.5 pts and Harris received his second 40 point beat down in a row at the hands of Devo and his resurgent squad of misfits.


Performer of The Week:

Madge's team of criminals, no-names and the criminally insane threw up a massive 169.8 points (positively Fusco-like, by the way). His team was firing on all cylinders with double-digit performances from almost every position.

Honourable mentions this week go to Devo with a strong 129.9 pts and to Kevin with 125.8 pts, and his first victory. Lance was clearly bribed into taking a dive by starting 3 Buffalo Bills positions and will forever be remembered as the guy that stopped Kev's historically bad losing streak. Kevin has also declared to the commissioner's office that he will run the table on his remaining games. We'll see about that.

Senorita Of The Week:

Lance Richter, 61.3 points. Where did it go wrong for him? Everywhere. I'm deeply concerned that his affinity for the Buffalo Bills is getting in the way of his ability to compete. Someone needs to talk to him. Devo, care to tell him your sad tale about the Raider fan???

Honourable Mention to Mike D. and his 63 points. He tried to suck, but couldn't suck as hard as Lance. How many real estate bidding wars do you think he's managed to win by simply staring at his clients and saying, "Choose balls 100% of the time."???



5-1 Club:

The herd has thinned a bit as Madge took care of Alls, but Devo just keeps hanging around the back door to the club and sneaking in every time the dishwasher goes out for a smoke. Sure, he's in the club, but does he really belong???


The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:

Nobody had enough points on the bench to save them from their loss, but this week did see the first application of the blow-out penalty. Harris' NY Giant D/ST coughed up a massive, brown-sheeted 48 points to the Saints thus earning him a -10 pt penalty. Beware the blowout, as this league adds insult to injury. Had his defense held them to just 3 fewer points and had he started Maroney, he would have only lost by 9 pts. Harris has joined Kevin in the basement at 1-5, soon to be there alone as Kev's streak of being 1st on the waiver wire has bolstered his squad with some solid talent.

State of the League:

Things remain competitive as 7 teams sit at .500 or better and nobody has run away with it yet. At lunch the other day, one owner who shall remain nameless, asked whether any teams had been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. Not yet is the reply, but things should shake out in the coming weeks. However, I still think some teams need to make some moves to help themselves. Trading is fun. Get out there, make some friends, have fun, and please be safe.

Commissionarily Yours,

Your Commisssioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
Commissioner's Plaza
400 Commissioner's Blvd.

Fantasy Land