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Week 6 brought much joy to my life. It really is the little things in life that one should take pleasure in. Elaborate dinners with expensive wine at the top restaurants are fantastic, but seeing both the undefeated and winless lose are truly enjoyable events. Onto the summary:
Scoring was down a bit this week as nobody really lit it up. Average fell to 92.6 pts from last week's 96.0 pts. The average margin of victory narrowed to 19.2 as two matches were close (EPS over Ashby and Kev over Lance) and there was just one blow-out (Fusco handing it to Hauser by 48.2 pts).
Performer of The Week:
Fusco, 116.4 pts. It is good to be me. I feel joy.
No honourable mentions as those that cracked triple digits did so only just and really don't deserve to share in my glory.
Senorita Of The Week:
I don't think anyone realizes how much effort it takes to write these summaries. It is a thankless job and Mike D. had been making this part easy as his strangle hold on SOTW meant less work for me. But, as usual, I'm the one who has to sacrifice and take one for the team:
Jay Hauser, your 68.2 points - while not awful - earned you the dis-honour of Senorita. I love it when my opponents are SOTW.
The "Close-But-No-Cigar" Match (es) of The Week:
Two tight ones this week. First Ashby became a sitting duck as Team Pat/Eric/Sunny were 2.4 points behind going into the MNF game with MJD still to play. The 3-Headed Monster has been surprisingly frisky as of late, got 5 points out of MJD, has strung together a 4 game winning streak AND humbled Ashby by handing him defeat.
Two old foes, Lance Richter of Hamilton and Kevin Andrachuk of Newmarket went head-to-head and came out of it each initially with 91.5 points. The overnight adjustments handed Kevin the victory by 1 pt. Could this change over the coming days???
5-1 Club:
Jeez. I leave for one week and I come back to this?!?!!?!? Toronto Star newspapers strewn about like the inside of a monkey cage at the zoo. Questionable brown stains on the walls, carpets, and furniture. An un-stocked bar. Two visibly shaken barmaids having locked themselves in a cloak room. The only thing on the menu is corn dogs. And a giant map of Peterborough and Carleton University sweatshirts as the new interior design theme. Tim, what have you done to all that was good and sacred?
I must get to work immediately, not only on fixing what you have wrought, but also on a plan to banish you from this special place forever. Fortunately, our head to head match up this week will allow me to do just that. See you on the field, friend-o.
The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:
No coulda/shoulda/woulda this week. You may all rest easy.
State of the League:
Fusco and Ashby are tied on top of the heap. Week 7 will bring a sole member in the leader's lounge as these two foes face off, but who will prevail? In an unrelated note, if anyone would like to make a few bucks by cutting some fibre optic cable to a house on Melrose, please email me directly at ashbymustbestopped@gmail.com .
At the other end of the spectrum lies Devo, 0-6 and in a bad, bad place. He emailed me the other day to ask if I wanted to do a CFL playoff league - he is that desperate and in that dark of a mood. The good news about Devo's situation is that the poll on the league page showed that he will be taking Madge with him in some sort of elaborate murder-suicide pact. Well done, Devo - I appreciate what you're doing for the rest of the league.
And in between lie Sunny/Eric/Pat, Harris (both with 4 game win streaks), and Kev at 4-2. At .500 are Gregor, Madge and Lance. Jeff Alls and Mike D. sit at a sad 2-4. And finally, with just one win from Devo-ville and on a 4 game losing streak is Hauser at 1-5.
Commissionarily Yours,
Your Commissioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
New Commissioner's Plaza
100 Mbeki Tutu Mugabe Blvd.
Nairobi, Kenya
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