Week 4 Summary - Live From Amsterdam!

Read it online here:
http://cebfl.blogspot.com/

or for those that are too lazy to even click:

The Week 4 Summary is coming to you live from the KLM Crown Lounge in Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport. Well it started that way and then my flight was called, so call this one the first 3 continent summary. Started in Toronto, filled out in Amsterdam, and finished in Nairobi. I'm in rough shape, so if it makes less sense than usual, please be kind.

900 g box of wine gums? Check. 3 Toblerone bars for EUR13.50? Check. Foreign vitamin water type drink for breakfast? I think that's what I just had.

Week 4 is in the books and the data to support what is quickly becoming a manifesto on excellence continues to pour in. Quite frankly, it is very difficult for me to continue to write glowingly about myself. I just don't like the attention. Maybe I'll tank a week just for kicks...

And now, onto the summary:

Scoring was down this week as byes began and a great deal of individual team suckitude went down. Nobody managed to score over 110 pts and only 3 approached/surpassed triple digits. Yours truly, Kevin, and the recently frisky combo of Eric/Pat/Sunny were the only ones in the century neighbourhood.

Average score fell significantly to just 80.3 pts from last week's healthy 92.3 pts thanks to half the teams scoring fewer than 81 pts. The average margin of victory also fell to 19.2 pts from last week's 24.9 pts despite my utter prison-vet-on-fresh-fish domination of Madge by 41.4 pts.

Performer of The Week:

The surprisingly frisky corpse of Sunny/Eric/Pat posted a week high of 108.6. See what can happen when you don't start guys with broken legs? Honourable mention to Kevin as his was the only other team to break the century mark.
Again, both still remain short of the season's high water mark of 127.1 set by a certain, beloved commissioner.


Senorita Of The Week:

Mike D, 47.8 pts. That's 3 weeks in a row, Mike. Plus, you suffered a 27.5 fisting by Lance. It turns out that coming out to drink beers and watch football with your friends DOESN'T help. Mike's scoring graph is not good. I'll spare you the graphics and just give you the data points:

Week 1: 90.3
Week 2: 57.1
Week 3: 68.6
Week 4: 47.8

Not good.


The "Close-But-No-Cigar" Match (es) of The Week:

Just one matches decided by less than 10 points: Kevin squeaked out another win by tossing Jay's salad with some 8.1 pt dressing - a family recipe.


4-0 Club:

Ashby is like a bad stink on an airplane bound for Amsterdam - he lingers. I still contend his inclusion in this club is all smoke and mirrors. He shall be revealed for the fraud that he is. Mark my words. Bye weeks will be very, very, very bad to him.


The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:

I bet Mike D. wishes he had started Bradford and his 26.3 instead of Cutler and his 9 sacks, concussion and -4.2. Devo certainly could have used Royal's 17 over, say Colston's 3, in order to avoid the double humiliation of losing to Eric/Pat/Sunny AND remaining winless on the season. And finally, Gregor could have used Orton's 31.5.



State of the League:

4 teams at 1-3, and 1 at 0-4. Pathetic. But somewhat amusing to watch Devo and Madge bottom feeding with Mike D. Not good, gents. Not good.

Commissionarily Yours,

Your Commissioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
New Commissioner's Plaza
100 Mbeki Tutu Mugabe Blvd.
Nairobi, Kenya