The (Almost) Mid-Season Power Rankings with 80's WWF characters added

A special guest post by league member, owner/manager, bon vivant and mid-packer, Kevin Andrachuk:


12. Triple Threat: The Hart Foundation (or the Bolsheviks)
This team is turning out to be quite pathetic. Who's driving this runaway, bangladeshi train? All of these brothers wrestled for the title at some point, the promise of something better is always present, but tragedy will eventually strike. If you guys were better, you could have been the Legion of Doom.

11. Blue Steel Dynasty: Brutus the Barber Beefcake
He once was a force, but was revealed to be a flaming failure when he had to deal with some adversity. One injury is a Deathblow, Madge? Your better than that.

10. The Commish: Captain Lou Albano
I recently saw pictures of Matt in full tribal gear, with the hoop earings and everything. I fear that is the direction his team is going, deep into the jungle, never to return. Its hard to make a move when Jay Cutler is your starting QB. I think Matt is suffering from the Curse of Tony Romo.

9. Mike D: Poppa Shangow
There were many options for Mike (Jake the Snake, Tatanka, Jimmy Snuka), but Poppa Shangow fits, as he has been cursed since his success many years ago. He has not been a player in years, but everybody hopes he finally makes it out of the bottom three and into the race.

8. Jaime Harris: Sgt Slaughter
If you put a moustache and 80 pounds on Jamie, you can see the resemblance. Unfortunately for me, I had the image of Jamie ordering around middle aged hussies at a Swingers club. Not cool. He has Brady, which will keep him in the hunt.

7. Abe Froman: Roddy Piper (pre They Live)
My team has so much promise, but I am not hopeful. Romo could be my downfall, or saviour.

6. Lance: Mr. Perfect
Everything is always in its right place with Lance, but he has never broken through. This is by far his best team, but he desperately needs another RB or two to make the playoffs.

5. Gregor: The Ultimate Warrior
This is seemingly a compliment, as the Ultimate Warrior was the face of the WWF in the late 80s and early 90s. Yet he flamed out, all of his promise not fully realized, as partying and rampant steroid abuse destroyed him. He came in with the best keepers, and his squad is solid, but will he be able hold off some tough competition? he seems to think he has the best team by far, I'm not sure I agree.

4. Hauser: Hacksaw Jim Duggan
The most entertaining pool member, always fun loving, but doesn't seem to have the stuffing to be champion yet. He has come close, and this might be the year. Its debatable whether his weight loss is good for his decision making, but I say it has been. Rivers is about to explode with Gates back.

3. Jeff Alls: Paul Orndorff
A man of Mystery, not much is known about Orndorff, or Jeff. he is a constant competitor, possible champion, and, uh, I don't know. Jeff is very opinionated, but I have never had the pleasure of meeting him. Nice team, I am not sure what to say. I think Jeff has a real shot to win it all with one good trade.

2. Devin: Elizabeth
To the man who was the best looking woman at the 1995 sex fetish party. At first he looked meek this season, not in control of his future, and a blowjob queen behind the scenes. But it turns out she/he has been running things all along. Having Aaron Rodgers is obviously the biggest reason for his ranking, and he also drafted well and has great keepers.

1. Ashby: Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan
Finally, its all coming together for Tim. This could be his year, all the moves are paying off, but at any moment he could make a catastrophic move to detonate his season. He is as cocky as Heenan, but can he finally win something? His team's success is dependant on Newton continuing to thrash opponents, but I think teams will catch up to him.