Week 5 brought with it the beginning of NFL bye weeks, a return to reality in scoring, a defeat to one that was previously undefeated, some scores in the 50s, and further emotional decay for your beloved Commissioner. I'll try to get through the summary without crying and before the mood enhancers kick in:
Average score returned to a normal 91.7 points from last week's rather silly 105 points and the average margin of victory came in at 22.4 points.
Performer of The Week:
No "WOW"s this week. Just good, old fashioned point gettin' Jeff Alls and his 109.2 points were the high water mark this week.
Honourable mentions to Lance (108.9) and Devo and Gregor (both at 102.6).
Senorita Of The Week:
This may be the closest SOTW race we've ever had: Kevin stumbled his way to just 57.1, but Madge was able to put even more poo in his pants and notch a mere 56.7 points. Life sure is different this season, isn't it Madge???
The "Close-But-No-Cigar" Match (es) of The Week:
Pass the prozac, Jameson's, and Haagen Daaz vanilla ice cream - I was clipped by Harris by just 5.8 points. My emotional state is not a good one. Cry for me, Argentina.
4-1 Club:
Ah, yes. Tim Ashby has finally felt the cold steel of defeat at the hands of the one and only Lance Richter. And the leaders' lounge now grants access to the following members:
Ashby (days are numbered - on more of a guest pass than an actual membership card)
Devin Mackesy (WHAT?!?!?! Sneaky, Devo. Very sneaky)
Gregor Davidson (Must be making Kevin so very angry)
The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:
I'm sure Mike D. would like Rothlisberger's 41.4, and Eric/Pat/Sunny probably should have started Cruz and his 22 over Boldin and his BYE week.
State of the League:
Please Tim, keep posting league messages titled "I'm Unbeatable". Pretty please.
Standings
1. FAST BOWLERS 4-1 L1
2. Team Cryptkeeper 4-1 W2
3. Stack's House 4-1 W2
4. Inglorious Bastards 3-2 W1
5. GENTLEMAN'S INTERMISSION 3-2 W2
6. Stiff Brees 3-2 W1
7. Team Tap Out 3-2 W1
8. Abe Froman 2-3 L2
9. Team BadNewsBrawlers 2-3 L1
10. The Blue Steel Dynasty 1-4 L1
11. Where To Next? 1-4 L4
12. T-Dot Triple Threat 0-5 L5
Updated Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Good luck on the waiver wire auction and let's all hope for a happier week 6.
Commissionarily Yours,
Your Commissioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
New Commissioner's Plaza
100 Mbeki Tutu Mugabe Blvd.
Nairobi, Kenya
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