Week 7 brought with it some personal validation for your beloved Commissioner, just the one score in the triple digits but six below 80, a sole leader in the lounge, and a stop to the shame for the team with three owners. I'll try to hold back my tears of joy and once again get through the summary:
Average score dropped yet again to a season-low 80.7 points from last week's 88 points and the average margin of victory came in at just 14 points.
Performer of The Week:
Your beloved Commissioner (Matthew J. Fusco) gets the praise this week as a heroic effort powered by Arian Foster's 43 handed Thomas Q. Ashberg his second defeat in a row since proclaiming himself "Unbeatable". There will be no honourable mentions this week as no one else made it into triple digits. Shame on you all.
Senorita Of The Week:
This week's SOTW and all of its related shame falls on Jamie Harris and his lowly 55.5 points This is a man that knows shame. This is a man that will know shame again. Just ask him for some of the photos.
The "Close-But-No-Cigar" Match (es) of The Week:
Proof of divine intervention??? Did God answer this summary's prayer??? Eric/Pat/Sunny were able to put their first win on the board by handing defeat to Kevin by a mere 5.6 points. But a win is a win. Congrats, gentlemen. Just a tip though - try not to
Also, please note that the fantasy football gods have punished Kevin for proclaiming his team to be "firing on all cylinders". Fantasy Hubris is a sin. Look it up.
6-1 Club:
And then there was 1. Congrats to Devo for fumigating the leader's lounge and clearing out the Blattella Ashbyahinai (that's a fancy way of saying cockroach - go ahead look it up) and having it to himself. Beware thine own fall from grace.
The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:
To this award's namesake: I'm guessing you would have liked to start a kicker. Or a tight end. "Bye" means their team will not be playing that week.
To Mike D: We all know the Arizona Cardinals are your team, but benching Roethlisberger and his 39.6 almost cost you the win. Fortunately for you, Madge can't seem to get his reptile brain around the new waiver wire system. Congratulations on being 1 game over .500 - is this a first???
State of the League:
I enjoyed the chatter last week - let's see it the hatred and vitriol keeps going.
TEAM W L T PCT GB
Team Cryptkeeper 6 1 0 .857 --
FAST BOWLERS 5 2 0 .714 1
Stiff Brees 4 3 0 .571 2
Team BadNewsBrawlers 4 3 0 .571 2
Stack's House 4 3 0 .571 2
Inglorious Bastards 4 3 0 .571 2
GENTLEMAN'S INTERMISSION 3 4 0 .429 3
Where To Next? 3 4 0 .429 3
Team Tap Out 3 4 0 .429 3
Abe Froman 3 4 0 .429 3
The Blue Steel Dynasty 2 5 0 .286 4
T-Dot Triple Threat 1 6 0 .143 5
Good luck on the waiver wire auction and let's all hope (and pray?) for your commissioner's win streak to keep going in Week 8.
By the way, things are a little crazy in Nairobi - grenades, explosions, Al Shabaab threats. I may have to relocate the league office...
Commissionarily Yours,
Your Commissioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
New Commissioner's Plaza
100 Mbeki Tutu Mugabe Blvd.
Nairobi, Kenya
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