That Thursday night game was a yawner for everybody but Poetic Seals as Roethlisberger threw up 21.08 Points. Average scoring checked in at a big 105.38 points this week. It was a big individual performance week as we saw Cassel throw for 40 pts, Romo put up almost 30, Owens had 32, Pennington with 36, Randy Moss with 30, Turner with 35, and Brees with 38. This was the highest scoring week in NFL history and the highest average scoring week since 1987. The Monday Night game was insane. But, my friends, there was also a darker side of the week, a dark brown side of the week with Kevin crapping the bed and plummeting in the standings.
Performer of The Week:
Mmmmm...right there....oh yeah....that feels good. ME, with 179.03 Points. ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY-NINE POINT ZERO THREE POINTS!!!! Clearly an intergalactic record, AND I didn't even have Reggie Bush back. Oh man are you guys screwed. Devo, you can suck it for calling me out last week and for charting my performance like an MBA geek.
Honourable mention to Pat and his MNF-fuelled 156.70 points. Second place on the week, but just enough to push him into the lead. We got ourselves a good, old-fashioned death-match.
I laugh at Tim and Lance's 130+ pt weeks. Puh-lease. Way to bring a knife to a gunfight. And Harris, 117.20? Jerry's Kids could get 117.20. Without an annual fundraiser.
I feel joy. And I feel great pleasure. And a sense of vindication. And as though things have returned to their natural order. Now I just have to get a voodoo doll that looks like Pat.
Senorita Of The Week:
Kevin Andrachuk. 43.08 points. Oh man. A meltdown of epic proportions. A fall like we've never seen before. Less than half the points of Eric/Sunny's team. I don't think Pat's team liked it at all when you lumped them in with you in the bed crapping department.
McNabb had -6.02 pts and was benched at half time. 7 turnovers in his last 2 games. I'm sure he'll be fine now that Andy Reid has told him he'll start next week. Anyone for Chunky soup?
Cutler managed 4.1 pts against the Raiders. Devo just shreiked with excitement at the mention of an Oakland win.
Buress - Had a boo boo early in the game and spent the rest of it on the sidelines. 0 points.
You only managed to play one player who achieved double digits in points. Portis with 15.90. It was single digit fever around your place this week. Yikes. How bad does it feel to be 2 places BEHIND Tim??? Double yikes.
1200 Point Club:
Performer of The Week:
Mmmmm...right there....oh yeah....that feels good. ME, with 179.03 Points. ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY-NINE POINT ZERO THREE POINTS!!!! Clearly an intergalactic record, AND I didn't even have Reggie Bush back. Oh man are you guys screwed. Devo, you can suck it for calling me out last week and for charting my performance like an MBA geek.
Honourable mention to Pat and his MNF-fuelled 156.70 points. Second place on the week, but just enough to push him into the lead. We got ourselves a good, old-fashioned death-match.
I laugh at Tim and Lance's 130+ pt weeks. Puh-lease. Way to bring a knife to a gunfight. And Harris, 117.20? Jerry's Kids could get 117.20. Without an annual fundraiser.
I feel joy. And I feel great pleasure. And a sense of vindication. And as though things have returned to their natural order. Now I just have to get a voodoo doll that looks like Pat.
Senorita Of The Week:
McNabb had -6.02 pts and was benched at half time. 7 turnovers in his last 2 games. I'm sure he'll be fine now that Andy Reid has told him he'll start next week. Anyone for Chunky soup?
Cutler managed 4.1 pts against the Raiders. Devo just shreiked with excitement at the mention of an Oakland win.
Buress - Had a boo boo early in the game and spent the rest of it on the sidelines. 0 points.
You only managed to play one player who achieved double digits in points. Portis with 15.90. It was single digit fever around your place this week. Yikes. How bad does it feel to be 2 places BEHIND Tim??? Double yikes.
Ahhh....that feels better, much better. In a return to the greatness that is me, I share the honour of founding the 1200 point club with Patty. I did the renos, cleaned the place up, ordered the booze, cooked up the canapes and invited the girls. But Pat seems to have snuck in an open service door and Monday Night will forever have a special place in his heart. Welcome to the founders table. You get your name on a plaque and a seat on the board.
A fairly drama and insult-free week as the only action was Pat giving back Barber under his injury-free guarantee on Graham. And that will be the end of this section for the season as the trade deadline has officially passed.
Update on The Ms. Midge Experiment:
I got nothing.
State of the League:
Shake up is the story of the week. Pat in the lead in a tight battle with me. Tim and Lance in 3rd and 4th (weird), separated by half a point and each other's sweat (weirder). Then Kevin surrendering 1st like a Frenchman to settle in 5th (more ouch), just 11 points ahead of a blood thirsty Devo. Jeff has fallen away by more than 108 points and that could be his last gasp. Then there's the rest of you under 1100 points and simply lacking the bullets, stones, or will to make a move.
U.S. Thanksgiving Games:
Don't forget - 3 games this Thursday. I remember missing these games when I was employed. Now, I might even cook a bird to honour the American pilgram and the striking similarity between their actions toward the native inhabitants and what my team is doing to the rest of this league (except for Pat - clearly this section was written prior to MNF).
The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:
Jamie Harris, clean the Cancun sand out of your vagina, wipe the tears from your face and then slap yourself for 6 minutes for not starting Trent Edwards and his 35.03 points. Buffalo was playing KC - did you forget how to read? The first rule of Fantasy Football: Start anyone playing against KC. Got 'em, Need 'em, Got 'em, - This Week's Trade Action:
A fairly drama and insult-free week as the only action was Pat giving back Barber under his injury-free guarantee on Graham. And that will be the end of this section for the season as the trade deadline has officially passed.
Update on The Ms. Midge Experiment:
AP - 14 points.
LT - 11.4 points.
Midge - 10th place, hopes fading with time running out. Just 26 points ahead of Hauser.
A Special Section Dedicated To Mike D.:
I got nothing.
State of the League:
Shake up is the story of the week. Pat in the lead in a tight battle with me. Tim and Lance in 3rd and 4th (weird), separated by half a point and each other's sweat (weirder). Then Kevin surrendering 1st like a Frenchman to settle in 5th (more ouch), just 11 points ahead of a blood thirsty Devo. Jeff has fallen away by more than 108 points and that could be his last gasp. Then there's the rest of you under 1100 points and simply lacking the bullets, stones, or will to make a move.
U.S. Thanksgiving Games:
Don't forget - 3 games this Thursday. I remember missing these games when I was employed. Now, I might even cook a bird to honour the American pilgram and the striking similarity between their actions toward the native inhabitants and what my team is doing to the rest of this league (except for Pat - clearly this section was written prior to MNF).
Commissionarily Yours,
Your Commisssioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
Commissioner's Plaza
400 Commissioner's Blvd.
Your Commisssioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
Commissioner's Plaza
400 Commissioner's Blvd.
Fantasy Land
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