Holy Offense/Holy Defense!!!:
No scoring madness this week as the cold weather seemed to slow things down for almost everybody. It would appear that one of the recent keys to success in this league is having players play in the Thursday night games. Or so I thought until last night's burner of a game. I had most of the summary composed and ready to go with just a few blanks on points, etc. But the Panthers and Bucs changed all that, so here's a version that was just crapped together this morning:
Maybe defense is the new offense? Ashby's team, despite 2 name changes, turned in a mediocre display of fantasy football this week (until MNF), but the one shining light on his team (until MNF) was defence as Indy stuffed Cincy, (3 Points allowed, 1 TD, 5 Sacks, 3 INTS, and a fumble) and put up 20 fantasy points. Ashby is fading faster (until MNF) than my memories of employment.
Average scoring checked in at an impressive 99.53 points this week, as the Thursday and Monday Night games generated some serious numbers:
Pat was the beneficiary of the Thursday night harvest this week as Phil Rivers personally shredded Devo's beloved Raiders for 26.25 points.
MNF brought huge numbers for Tim, as Steve Smith put up 17.70 and Cadillac Williams was positively Mercedes-like as he racked up 36.20.
Performer of The Week:
Hmmm....I'd rather not say. You know what they say, that if you name them, you can be come attached to them and that makes it harder to say goodbye when the time comes. But, I will give you a hint: His name rhymes with Cat With, and his team put up 117.22 points.
Or so I had written until MNF when Ashby, Hauser, and Lance all went past him. Ashby takes it this week with 122.75 points, just edging out Hauser's 122.66.
Senorita Of The Week:
Oh Madge. Madge, Madge, Madge. Fighting it out with Hauser and Eric/Sunny for 10th place is no way to spend your Heineken years. 62.48 points isn't awful, but it was 14+ points behing your nearest competitor. MNF did not affect you adversely. You were comfortably in last place before the game started.
1400 Point Club:
No scoring madness this week as the cold weather seemed to slow things down for almost everybody. It would appear that one of the recent keys to success in this league is having players play in the Thursday night games. Or so I thought until last night's burner of a game. I had most of the summary composed and ready to go with just a few blanks on points, etc. But the Panthers and Bucs changed all that, so here's a version that was just crapped together this morning:
Maybe defense is the new offense? Ashby's team, despite 2 name changes, turned in a mediocre display of fantasy football this week (until MNF), but the one shining light on his team (until MNF) was defence as Indy stuffed Cincy, (3 Points allowed, 1 TD, 5 Sacks, 3 INTS, and a fumble) and put up 20 fantasy points. Ashby is fading faster (until MNF) than my memories of employment.
Average scoring checked in at an impressive 99.53 points this week, as the Thursday and Monday Night games generated some serious numbers:
Pat was the beneficiary of the Thursday night harvest this week as Phil Rivers personally shredded Devo's beloved Raiders for 26.25 points.
MNF brought huge numbers for Tim, as Steve Smith put up 17.70 and Cadillac Williams was positively Mercedes-like as he racked up 36.20.
Performer of The Week:
Hmmm....I'd rather not say. You know what they say, that if you name them, you can be come attached to them and that makes it harder to say goodbye when the time comes. But, I will give you a hint: His name rhymes with Cat With, and his team put up 117.22 points.
Or so I had written until MNF when Ashby, Hauser, and Lance all went past him. Ashby takes it this week with 122.75 points, just edging out Hauser's 122.66.
Senorita Of The Week:
Another week, another club. The 1400 Club has excellent facilities, a fabulous selection of scotches and some Thai women with surprisingly strong hands. Unfortunately, the temperature is a little on the chilly side as Pat, Kevin and myself stare silently at each other whilst deep in thought planning one another's demise - at least this was the way it was until Monday night.
At about 11:30PM last night, there was a knock on the door of the 1400 point club. Kevin, as low man on the pole, was sent to investigate. Out in the cold was Tim Ashby, with his earthy blongings wrapped up in a hankerchief and tied to a stick. He smelled of box car and cheap whiskey. But then he flashed his scored card and after a quick verification on the intra-web, he was allowed in. He talked as much as usual, but the others weren't very happy to see him and I'm pretty sure I saw Kevin short him on the rye in the manhattan he ordered. Kevin can be a nasty one.
Madge, J. - V. Jackson, 20.80 Points. Doesn't this remind you of last week, or perhaps it is just my sily imagination? Playing him would have helped in your battle to hold onto 9th place.
Update on The Ms. Midge Experiment:
Tough to top last week's Mike D. story, but this week he continued to be our own little NFL superfan by attending the tailgate party at the Toronto Bills home opener and lamenting his favorite NFL team's tribulations as he bar crawled throughout the afternoon with blackberry in tow. It would also appear as though Sunny and myself have worn Mike D. down and he has booked a restaurant (and therefore assumed ALL planning responsibilities) for our Christmas dinner. Well done, Mike D. It is precisely this type of behaviour that cements your place in the 1000 point club. Nicey.
State of the League:
With 3 games to play, we have a Michael Vick endorsed dog fight. 1st to 4th is separated by just 56.03 points.
Top 4 - Pat, myself, Tim, and Kevin. As discussed last week but hardly believed, Tim returned to form and took 3rd away from Kevin by 1.1 points. Ashby is no longer on the outside. In fact, he's in the club and frankly I'm not convinced that he's "club people". Kevin, in falling to 4th, must be beating his students today. I mean, it was the stated goal of almost half the league to "just beat Tim", and now Kevin is just not there.
5th Place - Lance has settled into a soft-zone 36 points from 4th (Kevin) and 47 points ahead of 6th (Devo). There's cushion on both sides, but a solid close to the season could pit you against your basketball friend Kevin.
The Battle to finish in the Top Half - 6th place is up for grabs and it is a battle between Devo and Harris. Alls has continued his late season fade right out the battle. Harris' stated goal is to finish in the top half. Et tu, Devo?
Then, there's the rest of you:
Jeff Alls - a strong rookie perfomance for the first half of the season. Where did it go wrong? Many places.
Hauser - Blaming autodraft is old. Dr. Phil says you need to take some responsibility for what has happened. Let's face it, Pat basically auto-drafted and he's learned to play the game well.
Madge - I miss the trash talk, and over-confident, ego-filled missives that you once spouted. We might have to give you a 200 point head start next year.
Eric / Sunny - karma is a bitch.
Mike D. - Maybe it is you that should get the 200 point head start. Let's take a look at some math:
Average Score per week:
Pat - 104.665
You - 71.534
That's a pretty big margin.
At about 11:30PM last night, there was a knock on the door of the 1400 point club. Kevin, as low man on the pole, was sent to investigate. Out in the cold was Tim Ashby, with his earthy blongings wrapped up in a hankerchief and tied to a stick. He smelled of box car and cheap whiskey. But then he flashed his scored card and after a quick verification on the intra-web, he was allowed in. He talked as much as usual, but the others weren't very happy to see him and I'm pretty sure I saw Kevin short him on the rye in the manhattan he ordered. Kevin can be a nasty one.
The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:
Smith, P. - M. Schaub, 28.1 Points. A Matt Cassel-like performance and a possible qb controversy in the house that Smitty built.Madge, J. - V. Jackson, 20.80 Points. Doesn't this remind you of last week, or perhaps it is just my sily imagination? Playing him would have helped in your battle to hold onto 9th place.
Update on The Ms. Midge Experiment:
AP - 8.7 points against Detroit. Yikes, maybe some of my theories require re-examining.
LT - 15.1 points, and a personal declaration of war on all that is sacred to Devo.
Midge - 10th place. Maybe.
A Special Section Dedicated To Mike D.:
Tough to top last week's Mike D. story, but this week he continued to be our own little NFL superfan by attending the tailgate party at the Toronto Bills home opener and lamenting his favorite NFL team's tribulations as he bar crawled throughout the afternoon with blackberry in tow. It would also appear as though Sunny and myself have worn Mike D. down and he has booked a restaurant (and therefore assumed ALL planning responsibilities) for our Christmas dinner. Well done, Mike D. It is precisely this type of behaviour that cements your place in the 1000 point club. Nicey.
State of the League:
With 3 games to play, we have a Michael Vick endorsed dog fight. 1st to 4th is separated by just 56.03 points.
Top 4 - Pat, myself, Tim, and Kevin. As discussed last week but hardly believed, Tim returned to form and took 3rd away from Kevin by 1.1 points. Ashby is no longer on the outside. In fact, he's in the club and frankly I'm not convinced that he's "club people". Kevin, in falling to 4th, must be beating his students today. I mean, it was the stated goal of almost half the league to "just beat Tim", and now Kevin is just not there.
5th Place - Lance has settled into a soft-zone 36 points from 4th (Kevin) and 47 points ahead of 6th (Devo). There's cushion on both sides, but a solid close to the season could pit you against your basketball friend Kevin.
The Battle to finish in the Top Half - 6th place is up for grabs and it is a battle between Devo and Harris. Alls has continued his late season fade right out the battle. Harris' stated goal is to finish in the top half. Et tu, Devo?
Then, there's the rest of you:
Jeff Alls - a strong rookie perfomance for the first half of the season. Where did it go wrong? Many places.
Hauser - Blaming autodraft is old. Dr. Phil says you need to take some responsibility for what has happened. Let's face it, Pat basically auto-drafted and he's learned to play the game well.
Madge - I miss the trash talk, and over-confident, ego-filled missives that you once spouted. We might have to give you a 200 point head start next year.
Eric / Sunny - karma is a bitch.
Mike D. - Maybe it is you that should get the 200 point head start. Let's take a look at some math:
Average Score per week:
Pat - 104.665
You - 71.534
That's a pretty big margin.
Commissionarily Yours,
Your Commisssioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
Commissioner's Plaza
400 Commissioner's Blvd.
Your Commisssioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
Commissioner's Plaza
400 Commissioner's Blvd.
Fantasy Land
Great idea Fusco - thanks for setting this up.
ReplyDeleteSuch initiative!!! But seriously, you need to slow down friend. Pick up that Wii controller, screw open that bottle of blueberry wine, and sit back down on the couch.
ReplyDeleteWe all have our roles Matt, and yours is not stressing yourself out by "being productive". Although, come to think of it, since your role does involve constant public humiliation of Madge, maybe this does fit. Still, you should have subcontracted...