Week 8 Summary

Holy Offense:

Average score this week checked in at 98.57 points, up a bunch with 7 teams chalking up more than 100 points.

800 Point Club:

It just didn't happen. I know, I know, I'm as disappointed as the rest of you. Injuries, bye weeks, questionable decisions in the who to start department, and the toll they've taken on my well constructed Fantasy Machine, my psyche, and my lead have left me shaken, saddened, and confused. Patrick even moved into the lead for about 24 hours, but that oversight was quickly corrected. Kevin made another Monday Night run, but I was able to hold him off for another week. So, instead, we have the 700 point club filled with all sorts of rift-raft, drifters, poseurs, and outright fakes. The gates of the 700 Point Club have been stormed by everybody except Mike D. Plus, I'm pretty sure I saw Hauser bathing in the sinks in the mens room. The competition is tough, with less than 30 points separating 1st from 5th.

The Jason Madge Memorial "Why Didn't I Start THAT Guy" Fantasy Player of The Week:

Hauser - Joe Flacco 23.3 pts AND Leon Washington 22.10 sitting on your bench.

Also Lance Richter and Ted (don't call me Teddy) Ginn, Jr. and his 21.50 points as he lit up Lance's beloved Bills.

Harris had Pennington (20.05 pts) and McAllister (14.50 pts) riding pine.

Disgraceful mention to me - I could have started M. Moore and his 15.40 points - this is the 2nd week that I missed out on his production, and if I play my cards just right, Willie Parker will return and Moore will be worthless.

Extra Special Disgraceful mention to Jeff Alls, who gave up on Dan Orlovsky too soon. He chalked up 14.28 points vs. JT O'Sully's -4.43 points. DAN ORLOVSKY!!!

BIG TRADE ACTION this week:

Mike D., yes MIKE D. climbed out of his spacious walk-in closet in the best neighbourhood, near the best schools to do a deal with Ashby:

Dallas Clark and the New England D. for Chad Johnson and Julius Jones.

Week 8 Proceeds from Trade: Ashby - + 5, Mike D. - +7.5

Devo and Smitty put together a big QB for a big RB trade in a swap that addressed needs (beyond being held gently) they both had:

Dr. Phil Rivers and Lance Moore for Frank Gore and T.J. Houshmanzadeh.

Week 8 Proceeds from Trade: Devo - +22.20, Smith - +46.93

For my comments, I'll defer to some action movie cliche dialogue:

"Devo, you fool. You've killed us all."

Hauser and Kevin put together something Sunday morning:

Antonio Bryant and the Tennessee D. for Tim Hightower (Not just a character from Police Academy).

Week 8 Proceeds from Trade: Kev - +6.60, Hauser - +8.10.

Update on The Ms. Midge Experiment:

AP - 0 points, BYE Week

LT - 23 points, his turf toe seemed to enjoy the gentle British soccer pitch

Midge - 10th place. Just ahead of Hauser, and slightly more ahead of Mike D.

Performer of The Week:

Tim Ashby, 126.01 points. TIM ASHBY - AGAIN?!?!?! What is this world coming to??? He showed up at MNF (albeit over an hour after the game started), and his 3 players in the game delivered 41.63 points, catapulting him into 1st place for the week, 9th overall, and breathing down Lance's neck. Part of the fun of watching MNF with multiple owner/managers is the many competitions going on for points. Harris, was not only intimidated by our waitress (big girl), but he it was highly enjoyable to watch his frustration levels rise as time and time again, Manning passed to Dallas Clark (one of Tim's players) instead of Reggie Wayne.

Senorita Of The Week:

Mike D. 63.63 points. Sad show. Boo. Shame on you. Welcome to the 500 point club, I hope you enjoy your alone time.

A Special Section Dedicated To Mike D.:

Oh Mike, I drank the KoolAid and had so much hope for you after the trade, but you let me down. Trading for a RB, but not playing him in place of an injured Stephen Jackson. Seriously, all you have to do is log in around 12:50PM on a Sunday, click a few buttons and you would be anything but last. This, truly, is a new low in the laziness department. A mime is a terrible thing to waste.

Commissionarily Yours,

Your Commisssioner
Commissioner's Office, Suite 2200
Commissioner's Plaza
400 Commissioner's Blvd.

Fantasy Land